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Monday, March 30, 2020
We’ve just begun week three of having all of our classes online and my dominant thought
today is, Monday’s are even harder now than they already were! I spent the weekend lazing
around home where I live with my mom, dad, and teenage sister. Because Governor Gretchen
Whitmer passed a stay-at-home order last week, none of us had anywhere to be. We watched the
news, sat around, chatted a bit, watched some movies, watched more of the news. I felt like I was
in an alternate dimension. Waking up this morning and realizing that I needed to catch up on
class work, homework, and due dates made me feel almost confused. How can I do school when
I suddenly have no structure? How can I think about learning French when the entire world is
closed down and the study abroad trip I had planned for this summer is cancelled? How can I
think about practicing clarinet - my major - when my recital is cancelled anyway?
I entered into this stay at home period full of optimism, thinking it would be similar to
when I lived at home in high school. My older brother has moved out of our family home
already, so I set up his old bedroom as my own school/music practice room and prepared to go to
“class” each day. But wow, it has not been that simple. Mainly because of the fact that it feels
like the world is breaking down. None of us alive today have ever seen anything like this
coronavirus epidemic. This means that as a young adult, I do not have the luxury of asking my
elders, what did you do when you went through this? They never did. I can’t really look to the
adults in my life for comfort because I can see through their masks of calm to the anxiety many
of them feel underneath.
My mother is a Registered Nurse, currently working at Blodgett Hospital in Grand
Rapids. She has been a nurse ever since she graduated from college, and I’ve always looked up
to her for her compassion for others, which I can almost describe as fierce. My mother will
protect you, you have no choice in the matter, that’s what it feels like! I’ve watched her come
home from her 14-15 hour long shifts at the hospital, which are technically only supposed to be
12 hours long, exhausted and heart-sore. She is the strongest woman I’ve ever known and she
has never been afraid of anything. But now, when she comes home from work I see not only
exhaustion and stress, but also fear. Back at the beginning of this when many were still
convinced that the whole thing would blow over and we would all be fine, my mom was hearing
the truth from other hospitals who were already facing a battle against coronavirus. She sat my
sister and I down and explained that she didn’t want us visiting with anyone (this was before the
governor mandated the same order). She said, “most importantly, I don’t want either of you two
or Dad getting sick. I also don’t really want to be sick myself, but even more important than that,
I need to be able to help at work. If I get sick I can’t help them fight this at work.” I’m sure those
weren’t her exact words, but that was the gist, and even though I was sad that I would literally
have to cancel the plans I had made for the following day, I decided then that I would stand with
her and support her in any way she needed.
Since then I’ve seen many newscasts honoring healthcare workers and pointing out the
fact that without them, we wouldn’t have a chance against this virus. They’ve equated healthcare
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workers to soldiers, saying that they are our first line of defense for this invisible enemy. People
are finally seeing how hard they work, how ridiculously stressful their jobs are. It is easy to take
these things for granted when the world is not in chaos. This virus has pulled many things into
the light for humanity as a whole, and I hope we take the chance to learn from it and grow in a
way we never have before.
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Yesterday I felt like there were a million thoughts racing through my head, about politics,
about my friends, about my schoolwork and my family. Today, I swung in the opposite direction
and had a hard time focusing on anything at all. I told my friends and my boyfriend that I was
taking a break from technology today, because I felt too tired and drained to talk to anyone. I am
an extrovert, so I get my energy from interacting with other people. Ironically, interacting with
people online has the opposite effect. I don’t like holding seven different conversations, one
through text, a few through facebook messenger, and a handful through snapchat. This is what
I’ve been doing since I’ve been stuck at home and the incessant sound of my phone buzzing is
driving me absolutely insane. I want to see my friends and family members with my own eyes,
and hear their voices and be able to hug them! That is where I get my energy from! I’ve
definitely been making good use of the many different video chatting apps such as facetime,
google duo, google hangouts, and zoom, and those are wonderful ways to stay in touch but I am
craving an opportunity to sit down across from my best friend at a coffee shop and just talk about
anything. Or cuddle with my boyfriend on the couch watching a movie. I find myself missing my
grandparents the most because neither of them are tech-savvy enough to use video chat.
In the past, visiting my grandparents has served as a way for me to escape reality. I have
my paternal grandfather, who lives five minutes from me in a tiny house that’s full of stories, and
my maternal grandmother who lives in an old country house which is filled to the brim with her
quirky, artsy personality. I need to call them more! Both of them have a way of making me feel
like life is bigger than me and my problems. Now more than ever before I would love to drive
out to my grandma’s house, away from my town, away from my school and work, and just
breathe in the day with her. But both of my grandparents are in the “high risk” category of
people during this coronavirus disaster. I cannot visit them, in case I’ve picked up the virus at
some point. They also both have health conditions that put them in the very high risk category, so
if they were to catch this virus, they would be in a massive amount of danger. I have a difficult
time considering the fact that before all of this is over, I could be missing members of my family.
As of right now, I do not know a single person who has the virus. I’ve obviously heard about
tons of people getting it, but there is no one I know personally who is sick. I don’t consider
myself to be very religious, but I pray to God that it stays that way.
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Thursday, April 2, 2020
We just got the order from the Governor today that the rest of the school year for grades
k-12 if officially cancelled. My younger sister Elise is currently a high school senior, so I feel
like she got a pretty bad deal out of this. This was her final year with the people that she has been
going to school with for her entire life. School was initially cancelled for them with little to no
warning in mid-March so there was never time to say goodbye to anybody. She doesn’t get to
walk for graduation unless they are able to pull something together at the beginning of the fall
semester but it doesn’t seem like that would work very well because most of the students, Elise
included, will be starting college at that time. She also doesn’t get to have a graduation party
which I personally find to be the most unfortunate part. My experience at mine and all my
friends’ graduation parties was that it was a time for everyone to honor the graduate’s hard work
and accomplishments. I felt so special at my party in 2016. My Dad put together a few photo
boards documenting my life, my Grandma decorated a beautiful box for me to put cards in, and
my Mom made sure that I had vases of colorful flowers on the tables, and other music-themed
decorations. Elise is much more introverted than me so I suspect she isn’t as heartbroken about
missing out on this as we might expect her to be, but still, I wish she could have that.
My only other sibling is my older brother, Drew. He lives with his fiancé Shannon and
their two cats, and they have always had to scrape by with an insufficient amount of money.
Because of the coronavirus, both of them have gotten laid off from their jobs. This has happened
to an immense number of Americans which has caused the system they need to use to apply for
unemployment to crash. With absolutely no income and no unemployment benefits as of yet,
they are in an incredibly tight spot. Today my mom put together a box full of food for them to
take back to the house they rent. To prevent spreading any germs back and forth, she put the box
outside for them to pick up and though we went out on the porch to say hello, we kept our
distance from them, like we’re supposed to!
I actually cheated today with the social distancing… I absolutely take it seriously and
have not seen any of my friends in person since this all started. But today I desperately wanted to
see my best friend. Since it was the first sunny day we’ve had in nearly a week, she and I meet
up at some trails to walk together and chat. We truly did stay at least six feet apart the entire time
and we didn’t hug or anything, but it was wonderful to be able to see and talk to someone
standing in front of me! Though it was extremely refreshing, it almost made me feel more lonely
when I got back home. Since my Dad is now working from home at a makeshift desk he set up in
the middle of our home, we find ourselves having to be quiet all day during the week. When my
Mom is off work she keeps busy with chores and tasks around the house, and my extremely
introverted sister likes to stay in her bedroom and read, write, or draw. That leaves me to attempt
to entertain myself so I feel very acutely the lack of socialization.
My boyfriend wanted to drop off a mystery gift to me today, so I baked some chocolate
chip pumpkin bread to trade with him, and I was so excited! But in the middle of the day I got a
voicemail from him saying that he had had a sore throat for the past couple days, and although he
was almost certain it was only seasonal allergies, he didn’t want to risk passing anything on to
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me or my family and therefore wouldn’t be coming. My mom expressed how much she
appreciated his caution, but although I appreciate it too, I was disappointed to not have even that
small bit of connection with him.
The world is becoming a strange new place now. Last week I called my doctor’s office to
try and reschedule an appointment that I had coming up. The nurse who answered the phone
asked me to wait just a moment while she checked the calendar for later in the summer. A few
seconds later I heard her whispering to herself, saying something like “no I didn’t mean to do
that, go back,” speaking to her computer. I found this a little comical but tried to stop myself
from laughing until I was saved the trouble by her own laugh and her apology as she said “things
have been pretty crazy around here lately.” In that moment, though she and I were sharing a
laugh together, I felt bad for her too thinking about how truly hectic it probably was at that
doctor’s office. Another similar instance happened when I called Grand Valley student accounts
to ask a question. A woman picked up and asked how she could help me but as I started to ask
my question, I heard a baby cry loudly in the background. I paused and could tell the woman was
trying to shush the baby and respond to my question at the same time. Unlike the nurse, this
woman didn’t sound ready to laugh. She sounded stressed and tired. She quickly answered my
question and I said thank you and let her go as quickly as I could, then took a moment to feel
impressed that this woman was still able to give me a concise answer while taking care of a baby
at her home.
On a lighter note, it’s fun to watch the news now and notice all the different locations
news anchors are suddenly reporting from. Many that I’ve seen have equipment set up in their
homes and conduct business as usual from a distance. One news anchor was in his “man cave,”
another in her living room with the dog laying on the floor in the background. The entire network
of people who deliver the news to us on TV is scattered, yet they still manage to do their jobs.
They have also made a habit of reporting light and happy stories about how people are stepping
up to help in the effort to overcome the coronavirus, or about the different ways that those stuck
at home have found to entertain themselves, from having puzzle tournaments, to writing funny
songs, to learning how to draw.
I’ve definitely noticed among the people in my own life that creativity is making a
comeback. My grandma is a painter who hadn’t been painting the last several months, yet when I
talked with her on the phone a couple weeks ago, she told me about how she was painting lots of
things and exploring new styles and subjects that she had never done before. My sister pulled out
a massive piece of paper that she had been saving and decided to start meticulously drawing a
horse on it. My mother, who used to write beautiful poetry and still does occasionally, decided to
start writing down some of her thoughts and experiences similarly to how I am doing right now.
Our neighborhood has also come up with a way for kids to still have a fun easter egg hunt this
year despite not being able to gather with a church community or family like they may have done
in the past. We all received notes in our mailboxes detailing a neighborhood easter egg hunt.
Kids will walk up and down the streets with their parents looking for participating houses. The
houses that decide to participate hang strings of colored plastic eggs from their trees, mailboxes,
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or eaves so that they are visible to kids walking along the street. The kids then count the eggs and
try to find as many as possible. It sounds like a wonderful way to get our little community
together without actually being together!
Friday, April 3, 2020
I thought this would be an interesting additive. I was scrolling through Facebook and
discovered a post that people have begun to copy and share so that it will appear in their
memories in the future:
Just so I NEVER forget….. April 2, 2020
●
Gas price a mile from home was $1.40
●
School cancelled - yes cancelled (students left March 12 and wouldn’t
return)
●
Self-distancing measures on the rise
●
Tape on the floors at grocery stores and others to help distance shoppers (6
ft) from each other
●
Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store
doors
●
Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed
●
Parks, trails, entire cities locked up
●
Entire sports seasons cancelled
●
Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events - cancelled
●
Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings - cancelled
●
No masses, churches are closed
●
No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, now no gatherings of 5 or
more
●
Don’t socialize with anyone outside of your home
●
Children’s outdoor play parks are closed
●
We are to distance from each other
●
Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers
●
Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill
●
Panic-buying sets in and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies,
no paper towel, no laundry soap, no hand sanitizer
●
Shelves are bare
●
Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help
make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE
●
Government closes the border to all non-essential travel
●
Fines are established for breaking the rules
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●
Stadiums adn recreation facilities open up for the overflow of Covid-19
patients
●
Press conferences daily from the President
●
Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths
●
Government incentives to stay home
●
Barely anyone on the roads
●
People wearign masks and gloves outside
●
Essential service workers are terrified to go to work
●
Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families
This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-10)
Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020
Why, you ask, do I write this status?
One day it will show up in my memory feed, and it will be a yearly reminder that
life is precious and not to take the things we dearly love for granted.
We have so much!
Be thankful. Be grateful.
Be kind to each other - love one another - support everyone.
We are all one! <3
Copy and share.
Whoever first created this is someone who realizes how important it will be to remember
this time in the future when it is finally over. My generation has always heard about the horrors
of 9/11, which happened when we were too young to remember. Yet we still can feel the terror
and grief of those who lived it. Our children will learn about the Covid-19 pandemic, and
hopefully they will be able to draw hope from however we end up overcoming it.
Friday, April 10, 2020
Yesterday our stay at home order was extended by Governor Whitmer to the end of April.
We have already been stuck at home for weeks and looking at several more like this is a bleak
thought. I have been staying busy with school but school becomes extremely tedious and
suffocating when the experience is not shared with friends and other sources of support.
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Unsurprisingly, the weather day to day seems to have the biggest effect on my moods - it’s the
only thing that ever changes. Right now it is cold and cloudy and still outside and days like this
make me feel the most trapped and the least in control of my life. Though I agree with the steps
that have been taken to slow the spread of the virus, I hate having to abide by all the new rules.
We must stay in our homes at all times. The only time it is acceptable to leave is when you must
make necessary trips to buy food or supplies, go to the bank, etc., or when you walk your dog. I
recently read somewhere that the new rule is that you are only allowed to take your dog for one
walk a day, and that counts as your excursion for exercise for the day. Meaning that we are not
even supposed to walk through our own neighborhoods more than once a day. Grocery stores
and any other businesses that are allowed to remain open must now limit the number of people
who are inside the building at the same time to 4 customers for every 1000 sq. feet of floor
space.
I will be interested to see what humanity actually learns from this experience. I read
something somewhere that a person wrote saying, our grandfathers were asked to go fight in
wars and we’re being asked to stay home and watch TV, what’s the big deal? Aside from being
insensitive, this comment is missing an important factor that makes this current “war” different
from any we’ve fought in recent memory. This is that we are not allowed to comfort each other,
or do anything really. Something terrifying has hit and it’s not just our country, it’s every country
around the world. There’s nowhere to go to escape this. Now when we need hugs and hand holds
more than ever, not only are we not allowed to, but doing so would be to risk the safety of those
we love. Now when we need distraction more than ever - and have in fact been used to
distraction for most of our adult lives - we are instead forced to sit home with our thoughts and
brood. There is much good coming out of this as people adapt and grow to be able to help others,
yet this new life also brings the damaged parts of our society into stark relief.
Saturday, April 11, 2020
Today I wanted to take a moment to focus on our president, Donald Trump. I’ve been avoiding
talking about him because my writing will become one long rant if I do. But I found an article
that I wanted to add here which describes many of the reasons why I think he is the worst
possible person to be leading our country through this crisis. It is called “This Is Trump’s Fault”
(the main reason it caught my eye), and cites actions that he has taken during his presidency to
lead us straight into this fire.
● Quotes Trump on March 13 saying “I don’t take responsibility at all”
● Previously promised that casualties could be held near zero - has since changed his stance
to the opinion that if we keep the death toll under 200,000 people, then apparently we’ve
done a wonderful job.
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● The federal government let maintenance contracts lapse in 2018, which caused a loss of
stockpiled respirators to breakage
● Failure to store sufficient protective medical gear
● States are competing against each other for access to the limited equipment available to
combat the infection
● Spent nearly 10 weeks after discovering the coronavirus insisting that it was as harmless
as the flu
● Failure to close borders early
● Constant (CONSTANT) lying about the actual facts of the case, which his medical
advisors then have to correct him on
● Many key government jobs were empty or filled by unqualified people
● Trump’s ignorant son-in-law inserted as commander in chief of national medical supply
chain.
The coronavirus began in China in late December, 2019. The Trump administration was
officially notified of the outbreak on January 3rd, 2020. The United State’s first confirmed
diagnosis of coronavirus appeared in mid-January. The first person known to have died from the
disease lost their fight on February 29, 2020. By March 20, New York City (our epicenter) had
confirmed 5,600 cases. Only after this, on March 21, did the government begin marshaling a
national supply chain to combat the threat. Between this date and January 3, Trump and his
government did nothing except insist that the virus was not a threat. Wishful thinking. What
disgusts me the most about Donald Trump is not his incompetence, but rather his compulsive
lying which cause confusion and opposition at a time when the people of the United States
should be working together, and also his lack of empathy or urgency as he decides that 200,000
deaths would be a small price to pay. Horrifying, disappointing, disgusting.
Thursday, April 16, 2020
I have now been home from school for over a month. My Dad has been working from home for
nearly the entire time so that I have to try and be quiet as much as possible during the day so that
he can focus. I don’t have any problem with this that is aimed at him, but I’ve started to feel that
there is so much pent up energy in me that I need to run and scream and jump and dance and go
wild, but there is no outlet for me to do those things because I am never alone. I cannot say I
would rather be alone during this period of self-quarantine (I’m very grateful for my family and
my house!) but I desperately miss feeling free. I miss being able to visit friends and family
spontaneously, and I miss that feeling of elation I would sometimes get when I realized I was the
only one home. I would love to open the windows, blast some music, and sing and dance like a
fool until I’m too tired, but all I can do is sit quietly and work on school. Tomorrow it will be
exactly a month since I’ve been able to hug my boyfriend, and longer than that since I’ve been
able to hug any of my friends. I’ve been staying in touch with all my friends and my wonderful
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grandparents, but there is hardly anything for us to talk about when our days consist of
absolutely nothing! I haven’t wanted to write like this because it sounds so negative and
pessimistic, but today I’m really struggling.
I’ve been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of movies and TV shows in my free
time. They offer an escape from real life, and a chance for me to feel things that I wouldn’t
otherwise have any reason to feel. In the past I’ve gravitated more toward light comedies when
choosing movies or TV shows to watch, but lately I’ve gone more for dramas or mysteries things that make me feel and think. I’m wondering if I shouldn’t take so many adventures
through books and movies though, because every time I come back to reality, I feel a little more
caged in.
Saturday, April 18, 2020
All I have been able to think about - despite trying hard not to - is the idiocy of President
Donald Trump. He goes back and forth and contradicts himself daily, causing confusion and at
this point anger and frustration. He won’t stop trying to blame literally anyone else for his
failures, and especially when he tries to go up against state governors like New York’s Anthony
Cuomo, it becomes evident that despite being the president, he somehow doesn’t have a solid
grasp on the US constitution. In the last several weeks, I have heard Donald Trump go from
literally claiming that he has “total control” over the states and whether or not they close to fight
the virus, to telling governors “you are going to call your own shots” (which they had the right to
do in the first place, based on the conduct laid out in the constitution), to then tweeting (how
ludicrous is that in the first place) “LIBERATE MICHIGAN,” “LIBERATE VIRGINIA,” and
“LIBERATE MINNESOTA.” In one of these tweets he added that citizens should rise up against
their governors to fight for their second amendment rights which are “under siege”. First of all,
the 2nd amendment is the right to bear arms. Does this mean that Trump was implying citizens
should use weapons in their protests?? I cannot even begin to understand how someone who is
the face of our nation can get away with saying things like this, and over social media of all
things. What is more, he has backed states that have decided to reopen AND attempted to take
credit for their reopening by claiming again that he has power over that.
Trump’s actions are so random and nonsensical, that no one can keep track of them. I
read multiple articles on this man every day and each time I learn something brand new. Further,
each new thing I learn contradicts some other thing he did recently. I am now reading an article
discussing Trump’s insane actions having to do with the tweets mentioned above. He recently
announced a set of guidelines that states should follow before beginning to loosen restrictions in
order to prevent any resurgence of the coronavirus. None of the three states that he openly
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addressed in his tweets met the requirements which HE HIMSELF LAID OUT to be ready to
reopen. This event is exemplary of the kind of things Trump does on a daily basis which make
little to no sense, and only serve to turn citizens against each other. An interesting thing to note
about this is that the three states Trump targeted with his tweets are led by Democratic governors
who are apparently politically competitive with Trump. In other words, they stand a chance at
beating him in the upcoming 2020 presidential election.
I am sad to say that this past week in Michigan, conservatives protested at the state
capital in Lansing, gathering together in a large group to claim that Governor Gretchen Whitmer
is taking away our rights as citizens of the United States. They complain that she is taking away
our freedom by putting a stay-at-home order in place, and that we must all come together to fight
her and get her out of office. I truly do not understand how it is possible that people can be so
incredibly STUPID. Gretchen Whitmer is doing a fine job in office by taking action to prevent
the spread of the virus. She listens carefully to what the top medical experts of the country say
should be done, she consults with other governors, she consults with specialists at some of the
top universities in the country to make her decisions. To make the claim not only that people’s
rights are being taken away, but that it is the fault of Gretchen Whitmer is utter BULLSHIT.
They gather to fight for the right to continue life as normal at a time when a horrific virus has
rendered the ENTIRE WORLD helpless to stop its spread. Except that according to the smart
people who actually know what they’re talking about, there is one thing we can do to help, and
that is to social distance. These utter imbeciles have failed to grasp this concept. Not only does
their meeting alone potentially increase the spread of coronavirus, but they are protesting for
something that would likely kill them. It is as if they are begging to be poisoned. But somehow
they do not see this. These people follow the direction of President Donald Trump, who
throughout his life and presidency has openly incited violence, mocked minority groups,
disrespected women, and NEVER taken responsibility for any of his idiodic choices. They claim
they like Trump because he is open and honest about his actions but it seems that they’ve failed
to notice the countless times he has blatantly contradicted his own words. By countless, I do
mean countless. It has happened so many times that we all expect it now.
In fact, it is becoming increasingly apparent that Trump’s greatest care right now is not in
fact the prevention of lives being lost to the coronavirus, but rather his own chances of reelection
in 2020. If I were speaking out loud right now I would be screaming from frustration. I am
unable to think clearly because of the frustration I have with Donald Trump. He is truly the worst
thing to happen to our country. He is going to cause more deaths in a variety of ways, for
instance by pushing to reopen too soon and thus causing a resurgence, or by encouraging violent
uprisings with his reference to the 2nd amendment (the right to bear arms!).
Tuesday, May 5, 2020
I haven’t written for quite a while for two reasons. First, there are really no words for what is
happening right now in our country. It is carnage. Second, for the sake of my mental health, I’ve
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been trying to avoid reading more than an article in a day. Some days I’ve avoided any news of
the outside world altogether. Days like that almost feel like a dream. It is difficult to stomach the
state of our country right now. The coronavirus has brought all our dysfunction into the light.
Donald Trump leads the charge for those who want the right to do whatever they want even if it
means hurting others. He gives them enough validation that they feel justified in maiming,
killing, or otherwise harassing those who disagree with them. These people are wildly out of
control and they are so loud. I think that a majority of Americans are good people who want
peace and positive change, but none of those people seem to be doing anything. I imagine that
like me, these people must be too overwhelmed or disheartened to get involved in politics right
now. But therein lies the problem. The unstable, radical people who worship Donald Trump have
decided that they want to be involved in the running of our country. Trump gave them a leg-up
and they have taken their opportunity and no one is stopping them.
On what planet is it acceptable for unstable, aggressive men to be allowed to parade
around and through the capitol building with massive guns? Apparently ours. The bit that really
makes my blood boil is that if these were people of color “protesting” in this way, they would be
shot dead by law enforcement. Here we see racism at play - white supremacy, entitlement, and a
total disregard for the safety of others. These people have always existed, have always held their
poisoned beliefs, but Donald Trump has given them total permission to act in exactly the
destructive, corrupt way they’ve always wanted to act. And the good people do nothing because
they fear for their lives. If we take a moment to reflect on why people stormed the capitol with
guns, we find further corruption, further ignorance and entitlement. These people want haircuts.
These people demand haircuts, despite the risks that would accompany a rapid reopening of the
economy. They either don’t believe that the coronavirus is anything more than a bad strain of flu
(despite the fact that it shut down literally the entire world), or they believe that “saving the
economy” is more important than saving lives.
These people have literally compared our governor (who is doing an incredible job) to
Adolf Hitler. By doing so, they imply that their situations are similar to what Jews faced during
the Holocaust. This is beyond disgusting. Jews were forced from their homes and dragged to
concentration camps where they were imprisoned in total squalor, their humanity stripped away.
These people today are literally being asked to simply stay at home. Holocaust victims were
killed without a thought if they were suspected of rebellion, if they were seen to be disrespectful,
or for any reason a Nazi soldier came up with, and there was no justice for them. These people
today are allowed to angrily march on the state capitol with massive guns, threatening violence if
they can’t have what they want. Law enforcement apparently tolerates it when these people
scream in their faces, despite the prominent risk of them spreading potentially deadly germs.
Their situation is absolutely nothing like the Holocaust and Gretchen Whitmer is nothing like
Adolf Hilter. In fact, ironically, expert historians as well as psychologists have likened Trump to
Hitler a number of times. And just like with Hitler and his Nazis, Trump’s followers are utterly
blind to the chaos and destruction he continues to cause.
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Perhaps at this point it is fair to say though that our country was already in shambles
before Trump came along. We were a forest of dying trees when he came along and dropped a
match. I can’t continue to talk about all these things for very long or I begin to feel absolutely
hopeless. But here is a bit of a list of the biggest problems that I see with our country.
● Absurd wealth gap - A vast majority of Americans are essentially poor while most of the
country’s wealth is held in the hands of just a few people.
● Capitalist culture - People must work until they literally can’t anymore. Sick days are
barely tolerated, mental health days aren’t even a thing. Pregnant moms often must keep
working up until they deliver their child and get only a brief chunk of time for maternity
leave. There is no paternity leave. All employees are expendable.
● Costs of education - Absolutely no one coming out of high school could possibly afford
to attend college without substantial help from parents, scholarships and grants, loans, or
other sources. Most full-time students I know have at least one job (I myself have two),
which they will put directly back into their education come tuition-payment time. How
can we be full-time, successful students while working copious hours at minimum wage
jobs which barely earn us enough to live?
● Blind Racism - This needs no explanation, except the addendum that when slavery
existed in the United States there was blatant, undisguised racism, and now though our
culture still drips with the same toxicity, people have convinced themselves that it is no
longer there.
● Profound Ignorance - I don’t know how else to say this…. People are just extremely
dumb. I mean this very seriously, I am baffled on a daily basis by the alarming levels of
stupidity I see from people. It is as if as a race we are losing the ability to think critically.
People are walking through life blind and deaf to half of it. I can’t understand this and it
is truly the most alarming thing to me because I think it is probably at the heart of many
of our other issues. Because it’s not simply that people disagree on a topic, but rather that
some of them literally cannot seem to see the opposition. The conclusions these people
come to about the world and how it is or should be run are simply bizarre. It’s like
they’ve read only every other chapter of a book and have pieced together a new reality
for themselves. It is entirely baffling.
To return to a positive note, the environment is thriving without humans mucking it up on a daily
basis. I’ve been going outside for fresh air and sunshine nearly every day. I sit in my backyard
and pet my cat, or I walk through this rolling green field that is enclosed by trees near my house.
I play piano every day and for the first time in a while have started learning a new piece,
Debussy’s Clair de Lune. I ordered a bullet journal starter-kit so I could explore this as a new
hobby. It came with 10 fine-tip pens, 20 stencil sheets, 9 rolls of decorative tapes, and a bullet
journal, and I absolutely love it. There is something extremely therapeutic about designing and
creating a page here and there. I’ve also been doing yoga frequently, using the youtube channel
called “yoga with adriene,” which has suddenly become extremely popular as more people stuck
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in quarantine discover her! I’ve been doing her videos for 3 and a half years and I am excited
that so many people are now jumping on board. Adriene Mishler is such a pure and authentic
person, and at the moment she symbolizes to me all that is good about humanity. As a race, we
need Adriene Mishler. I just hope her increasing popularity won’t ruin her life, like it seems to
do with so many celebrities. Somehow though I have utter faith that she will never let it get to
her.
I cleaned out my childhood bedroom over the last couple weeks and rearranged it so that
it better fits the person I am now. It makes me feel like I am being officially recognized as
someone new. I am reading for the second time Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth: Awakening to
Your Life’s Purpose, hoping it can help bring me clarity and peace during this time when so
much feels so wrong. In this book, Tolle discusses the existence of the ego, which left unchecked
can entirely take over a person so that they are ruled completely by compulsive emotion rather
than logical thought… Highly relevant today. I have only been growing closer with my family,
even though I was worried that the opposite would happen after we’d all been stuck together for
so long. In these times, it is a relief and a blessing to know that I can rely on my parents,
grandparents, older brother, and younger sister to become even more supportive, even more
understanding, and even more compassionate towards their loved ones than ever before.
I have been calling both my grandpa and grandma weekly, and also sent them each a
letter with some questions in them. I asked them both what they would buy if they suddenly
became billionaires. Funnily enough, they both wanted their own version of a cottage on a lake
where they could sit and feel peaceful. I asked my grandma what she would ask or say to her
parents if she was able to but have yet to get an answer from her! I asked my grandpa what he is
most proud of in his life and he said without hesitation that he is most proud of having met his
wife (who passed away when I was seven), having two children, six grandchildren, and one great
grandchild. He told me family is the most important thing and I believed him. I am closer to him
than I’ve ever been and am so thankful for him every day.
Saturday, May 23, 2020
Governor Whitmer has gradually begun to reopen Michigan, so that now we are allowed
to have gatherings of ten people or less. The mother of one of my long-time high school friends
set up a surprise party for her last night and invited myself and four other girls from high school.
This family who threw the party (I’ll call them the Smith family!) all had Covid-19 within the
last month. They are over it at this point thankfully, but two of the girls didn’t come to the
surprise party, one because she herself didn’t feel comfortable, and the other because her parents
didn’t feel comfortable with her going. So the three of us who were okay with meeting up at the
Smith’s house made sure to keep our distance from one another, sitting outside and only
touching our own things, not making contact with each other. We knew that most likely none of
us have been exposed to the virus, but all of us decided to err on the side of caution, considering
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how many deaths there have been. [Just counting deaths for a moment, there have been 65
reported in my county alone, 5,158 in the state of Michigan, 97, 414 in the United States, and
over 341,000 worldwide.] But the Smith family have always had their own ideas about things.
Mr. Smith is a loyal Trump supporter, and therefore believes the severity of the Coronavirus is a
sham. He believes that the numbers are only as high as they are because they are being falsely
reported. He believes that things like wearing masks, and social distancing, and wiping things
down with antibacterial wipes is unnecessary, and in this case, stupid. He said so himself to us
last night. We jokingly took a picture of all of us with our arms out, standing apart from each
other to show that we were social distancing, and Mr. Smith laughed and told us that in a few
years we would all look back at that picture and realize how stupid we were being.
We all looked at him with blank expressions and his daughter said, no I don’t think we’ll
think it was stupid, before quickly changing the subject. I’ve known this family for over half my
life and he is a good man. He is very religious and he is kind and generous, yet he firmly
supports Donald Trump, who in my eyes represents everything wrong with our country. The
Smith family are also anti-vaxxers, because they believe in the holistic healing process and
natural medicine. I don’t know exactly what their arguments are against vaccines, but they are
totally convinced that they are right and the rest of the world is wrong. They are so calmly
confident in their convictions that vaccines are terrible and no one should get them. I have not
ever been able to understand this point of view. The daughter, who has been my friend for years,
blindly follows her parents when it comes to this, though she herself is not even remotely
medically trained. At her surprise party last night, we had one of the girls who had stayed home
on the phone. This girl was just getting over being sick, and we teased her for being sick much
more often than the rest of us. She then laughed and mentioned a time when she got sick right
after getting her flu shot. The Smith daughter heard this and immediately shot me a look as if this
one instance was irrevocable proof that vaccines are bad. It could have been simply a facepalm
moment, but instead I was furious. I was so angry at their entire family for having the audacity to
call our caution stupid, to believe things without even understanding the science behind it, to
discount all the evidence collected by scientists all over the world which shows undeniably that
vaccines have helped keep extremely deadly diseases at bay.
I think their reasoning is that we need to give our bodies the chance to build up immunity
to these illnesses. But what about the thousands and thousands of human beings whose bodies
are immunocompromised for one reason or another? What about the huge demographic of
elderly people who are just trying to live out the rest of their lives peacefully? Or the children
who can’t help but run and play and spread germs everywhere they go? Or the pregnant women
who need to be as safe as possible? By the Smith family’s reasoning, we shouldn’t try and
control deadly health threats like the coronavirus because we’ll be weakening people’s immune
systems… But does that mean they’re totally fine with only half the population making it
through? Survival of the fittest? Natural selection?
I cannot understand how people can look and see all the evidence and still refuse to
believe they might be wrong. Despite thousands of people dying prematurely, they still prefer to
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believe it’s a hoax. I read a news story that said a covid-positive hair stylist went back to work
and infected upwards of 20 people. Maybe most of those people will have mild symptoms and be
completely fine, but then they will be carrying it and spreading it to all the places they go. Then
anyone they come in contact with could get it and spread it, and it will just keep going, killing
some, and travelling through others. What on Earth is so bad about wanting to be careful? I am
not afraid of this virus. I make runs to the grocery store and the bank. I take walks with friends
outside and have even visited my grandparents a couple of times. But I wear a mask, and I bring
hand sanitizer with me everywhere, and I stand apart from people when I’m speaking to them.
These things are not difficult to do and even though I don’t like wearing a face mask or avoiding
public places, etc., I would rather do all that than risk being responsible for someone’s death.
I still believe our governor has done well making important decisions for our state. She
has been constantly discussing with other governors around the country and with public health
professionals to determine how soon and how quickly we can reopen. I would rather be stuck at
home than go about my normal life knowing that thousands of people are dying all around me
and I’m doing nothing to help stop it, but in fact may be helping cause it. It is alarming how
individualistic our culture has become. How selfish and privileged we are. It makes me sad
because I was raised to believe that the United States was a wonderful place full of life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness. But it really isn’t that at all.
Wednesday, June 3, 2020
A ton has happened in our world since I last wrote. As far as Corona goes, Governor
Whitmer just lifted the stay-at-home order as well as other restrictions on Monday. More and
more businesses are allowed to reopen and cases have been going down. They are apparently still
worried about a second wave that would be even stronger than the first, but this issue isn’t even
the focus anymore. Covid is the forefront in hardly anyone’s mind. Because on May 25th,
George Floyd died. He was a black man suspected of forging checks, so he was apprehended by
a group of (white) cops. There is video evidence that Floyd was complying with police orders,
not resisting them at all. Yet they still threw him to the ground and pinned him there with their
knees along his body. One of the officers, Derek Chauvin, placed his knee directly on Floyd’s
neck while Floyd lay face down on the pavement. Two other officers were applying their body
weight to Floyd’s back. They stayed this way for nearly 9 minutes, despite Floyd’s crying out
that he couldn’t breathe. Eventually he passed out, and the officers remained with their body
weights on Floyd’s back and neck for three more minutes, until Floyd’s heart stopped and he
died. According to autopsy reports, Floyd did not die from strangulation, but the pressure applied
on his back and neck were the cause of his heart going into cardiac arrest. Perhaps if the officers
had acted to save him, he would have lived, but instead they remained on top of him until he was
dead.
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This insane act of cruelty - which is not uncommon in black communities - turned out to
be a catalyst for nationwide and even worldwide outrage. There were riots the next day in
Minneapolis, where Floyd was killed, in protest of police brutality. Businesses were broken into
and looted and the city was trashed. Since then, protests and riots have continued in all fifty
states, as well as in other countries as people everywhere have joined the Black Lives Matter
Movement. This movement strives to bring attention to the injustices the black community faces
daily just for the color of their skin. It brings attention to white privilege and educates the world
about black history. It vehemently condemns police brutality and demands justice for those that
have been treated unfairly, and especially those who have died for no reason other than that their
skin was black.
Many white people balk at this idea that racism still exists and that white privilege is so
prevalent, but I believe it. I see it every single day when people of the white community
stubbornly believe that if you just do what the cops tell you, you won’t get hurt. They continually
believe that black people truly are just criminal and unruly. They continue to believe that black
people do this to themselves, that black people are the only ones killing black people, that white
people are innocent. They are ignorant. It is an extremely uncomfortable reality to have to
accept, so many people don’t accept it. This is the point of the protests. Centuries of
unacknowledged injustices without respite have finally given way to a movement fueled by
anger and the condemnation of cops.
I support this movement, though I do worry that, as happens with so many issues, we will
first swing too far the other way. In other words, I am concerned that before we are able to find
any kind of peace, there will be a massive and long-lasting hatred and mistrust of law
enforcement, as well as the government and the media. When I scroll through Facebook I see
countless different accounts and opinions about these issues. We cannot seem to find common
ground on anything. I know I’ve been saying this in nearly all of my entries, but I honestly blame
Donald Trump. He is behind the mobilization of the national guard to quell these protests, whose
cause is righteous and which are most often completely peaceful. He is the one who has
constantly condemned any and all news sources that do not agree with him. He is the one who
has sown more hatred and division than nearly any other president in history. He is the absolute
worst kind of person and seems to be trying to turn our democracy into a dictatorship. As far as I
can tell, most people hate his guts like me. But Trump still has a hardy group of supporters who
truly believe he can do no wrong. I have truly tried to understand these people, but all I can
conclude is that they are just plain stupid.
I plan to attend a silent sit-in today in the city of Grand Rapids, of which nearly 3,000
people have said they will participate. From 4-5 pm we have been directed by organizers to sit
silently lining the sidewalks of Fulton street with signs that say “I’m still here. I’m still pissed.”
We will not be blocking traffic at all, or causing noise pollution, or doing anything even remotely
destructive. At 5 pm we are supposed to take a knee for 9 minutes and chant “I can’t breathe,” to
represent George Floyd’s horrible experience. I was not originally planning on attending this for
two reasons. First, despite the fact that no one is thinking about it, Covid-19 has not magically
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disappeared, and I don’t want to contribute to spreading it more. Second, many groups who are
separate from the groups of protesters have been coming to these organized peaceful protests
with the sole purpose of causing trouble and discrediting the movement. I do not want to be at all
involved in violence. I have decided to go because I think that this movement is more important
than my reasons not to.
The Grand Rapids chief of police has been in contact with the organizers of this sit-in and
has actually agreed to participate in our protests against police brutality. I’m excited to go and
see history in the making, and I hope desperately that this movement can bring about real
change, both in America and in the world.
Tuesday
, June 9, 2020
Last Wednesday, nearly a week ago, I attended a protest in downtown Grand Rapids for
the Black Lives Matter movement. I went to this one (and not the previous ones) because this
was labelled as a peaceful sit-in, and was cleared with the Grand Rapids Police Department. The
chief of the GR police also said beforehand that he would join in our protesting and take a knee
for George Floyd and all the black lives that have been needlessly taken. Over three thousand
people had responded that they were interested in attending this event on Facebook, and I would
not be surprised to learn that they had all come. We lined the Fulton street single file (nearly
everyone with a face mask on for Coronavirus) for what must have been miles and sat there - not
blocking car or foot traffic, not being rowdy in any way - from 4-5 pm. Then from 5-5:09 we all
knelt on one knee and chanted “I can’t breathe,” to relive the memory of George Floyd’s last
experience on Earth. Following this we continued to sit peacefully until 5:30, which was when
we were all supposed to go back home and clear the scene. This was a strict rule so that if any
rioters did decide to show up and cause trouble, it would be very clear that they were a separate
group from the peaceful protesters. Right before my friend and I headed back to the car, a chant
erupted of “No Justice, No Peace,” among a large group of people who walked down the road,
past all the protesters. During the hour and a half that we sat there, many cars drove up and down
the street and at least half of them would honk their horns in support as they drove by, or reach a
closed fist out the window, or give us some other kind of sign of encouragement.
I am so glad I was a part of it. It was especially interesting to see what kinds of people
turned out to support Black Lives Matter. I saw mostly people who were very near my own age,
and quite a few more white people than black people. Yet I also noticed among the crowd middle
aged people and even elderly people. It was excellent to know that this movement finds support
among all demographics of people, throughout the country and even throughout the world.
Though I was not near enough to the police station to know what was happening there, I later
saw pictures of the police chief keeping his word and taking a knee with protestors at 5pm to
chant “I can’t breathe.” As we were leaving, my friend and I had to walk a block over to the car
and as we did so we noticed heavily armored police troops guarding the perimeter of the police
station. There were no protesters in that area, and as far as I know, there never ended up being
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any more destruction that night. But looking around me I could see all the destruction which had
been done the previous weekend throughout the city. Many restaurant and shop windows had
been smashed, and were boarded up when we walked through. This included the courthouse,
which makes sense, but also many many small businesses that should not have been in the line of
fire. The beautiful thing is that at this point, a small group of (african american) artists have been
going through downtown and painting beautiful pictures of hope and peace on these boards.
They are using art to change the boards from a symbol of past violence into a symbol of hope.
Another major event that happened last week was Donald Trump’s disgusting use of
force to clear the way through protestors for a photo-op. Washington D.C. was crowded with
peaceful protestors calling for change, when Trump decided he wanted to walk to the small
church there and pose in front of it with a bible. In order to reach the church, which was blocked
by protesting citizens, he called in a force of police who reportedly fired tear gas into the crowds
to force them to disperse. This in itself is absolutely disgusting. These were unarmed, peaceful
protesters who happened to be protesting police brutality when our demented president saw fit to
clear them and their very valid concerns away with a violent chemical, just so he could get a
picture taken. This is far more disturbing when we consider that Trump does not even attend that
church, which apparently nearly all American presidents have attended throughout history. He
does not go to that church, nor any other church for Sunday mass. The bishop of the place was
outraged to see that the president of the United States had used her church and a bible that he
never reads simply to garner support for his reelection campaign. In a country that is plagued by
a global pandemic and has given way to uprisings in every single state, the President uses
excessive force to quell their outcries so that he can focus only on his popularity. If this story
sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is the actual stupidest thing that I’ve ever seen, and not only
stupid, but blatantly evil. Trump’s main supporters are people who blindly follow him without
watching the news or educating themselves on any domestic or world issues. They seem to
believe exclusively what Trump tells them to believe, so this disgusting and unnecessary show of
power will probably appear to them as a good thing. His ill-won picture with someone else’s
bible in front of a church that he doesn’t attend will probably make him appear to them as a very
godly man who they should follow to the ends of the Earth. And the rest of the world laughs at
us.
Now there is a growing movement in the United States to defund and/or abolish the
police altogether. This has understandably received mixed opinions. The first time I heard it from
a friend I thought that was crazy. This friend simply told me that there was a movement to get rid
of the police, and in my head I thought of all the true criminals in the world and thought that
abolishing the police would be equivalent to allowing them to run free. There would be no one to
call if someone broke into your home, no one to call if you were being followed down dark city
streets, or if you’d been assaulted. I completely understand why every single person of color in
the country would be all for this. Amazingly (bafflingly!) for a huge amount of black Americans,
police have been one of the biggest threats to their health and safety. So where I (a young middle
class white woman) see the police as a force for good who will protect me against evil, an
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overwhelming number of others in the country are forced to see police as people who will harass
them and threaten them for no good reason, and with no repercussions. And it goes without
saying that they also must fear being unjustly murdered by the police on a daily basis. If I were a
person of color, I would prefer anarchy to a police force. Since I am not a person of color, this
most certainly was not my first reaction, and I still do not support the total eradication of any sort
of police force.
I have since learned however, that the idea is not to simply have nothing in place to
protect people, but to have an entirely new system of public safety in which professionals in a
variety of fields are called on to deal with problems that arise in a more individualized way. In
other words, instead of sending strangers with guns to deal with every single problem ever,
reformers want to be able to send out social workers, psychologists, behaviorists, etc. to help
troubled people rather than simply arresting everybody and sending them to jail. The United
States has the highest incarceration rate in the world. This is because our justice system is
antiquated. Massive amounts of money are funneled into beefing up the police force so that they
can continue to arrest everybody. Our prison systems are not to help rehabilitate convicts, but
simply to put them in long timeouts. It doesn’t make any sense at all. This is why I support the
abolish the police movement. Though I do think we need some semblance of the police to
remain, I very strongly believe that sending a person to prison should not be the first solution. If
a single mother steals from a grocery store because she does not earn enough to feed her
children, she should be led to resources that could help her and her kids, not led to jail. If a high
school student pulls a gun on classmates, he should be put in a rehabilitation center with
professionals who can examine his mental state, not put in jail for the rest of his life to waste
away. Certainly there will always be crime, but there would be far less if we funneled more
money into programs to help people live a happy life. As soon as a person is deprived of their
basic needs of food, water, and shelter, their fight-or-flight response will kick in and they will
likely do something like steal or even kill others. If there was less crippling poverty, less unfair
treatment by police, more attention from government officials, more prosperity and equality,
there would be less crime.
Let’s defund the police and reallocate that money away from weapons that will be used to
hurt already damaged citizens and into programs that will help them heal. Let’s put that money
toward funding public schools, which are struggling so much that they’ve begun to cut programs
like art and gym class (which if you know a child are essential to helping them focus and absorb
information). Let’s put that money toward buying more Personal Protective Equipment for the
doctors and nurses across the country who have been helping to fight Covid-19 and putting
themselves at risk this whole time. They have had to cover their clothes with trash bags and
rewear masks (which renders them essentially pointless) because the government has not funded
them well enough. This is disgraceful. Let’s put money toward getting homeless people off the
streets and on their feet so that they have the option to reenter the workforce. Let’s put money
into the foster care system so that parentless children don’t have to live through neglect and
poverty only to be thrust into the “real world” on their 18th birthdays with no idea how to be a
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productive adult. Let’s put money into bringing down the cost of college tuition so that education
is available to all rather than just the middle and upper classes. We would have no need to beef
up our police force if the country’s citizens weren’t treated so badly as to make them want to
revolt. Donald Trump is like a really bad monarch and I can only hope that he will be
overthrown this fall when we elect the next president.
Thursday, June 11, 2020
Finally, after being home for months, I am beginning to feel like I can have a somewhat
normal summer. I recently applied for a job at a ziplining adventure park near my house and
have a virtual interview with them tomorrow. Thus far, I have only been earning minimal money
at my Library job, which had to cut our hours when the pandemic hit. Luckily I haven’t been
going anywhere or spending money on much of anything, so this hasn’t been a huge strain, but it
will be once school starts and I have to start paying rent at my apartment! I am very excited to
finally have the opportunity to begin making more money (in an environment different from my
home!), and I feel ready to battle whatever struggles arise from reentering the service industry
after so many weeks of people being cooped up. In addition to the scattered hours I’ve been able
to work for the Library Virtual Services, I’ve also been teaching piano lessons several times a
month to a couple of beginning students. One or two of them will continue through the summer,
so that will be a tiny trickle of income for me as well. Every single penny counts!
Though I have been stuck at home without much to do, I have tried to stay busy. I wrote
up a list of all the things I have committed to this summer, which is as follows:
● French classes (one the first half of summer, one the second half), twice a week
● Piano lessons (2-3 times per week generally)
● Library virtual services shifts
● Band camp (A two week camp I help teach for my previous high school each summer.
They only just got the official green light this past week to have it!)
● Family vacation (Likewise, we didn’t know if or when we would be able to have any
vacation this summer, but it looks like we will be heading elsewhere at the end of July)
● Senior Project (Which I was unable to finish last semester due to the pandemic, and
which is now due within the first month back to school this fall)
● Graduate schools research
● Clarinet Practice
● Yoga/daily exercise
In addition to all of these things, my hobby is reading books. Despite its becoming more
cheesy to me every time I read it, I reread the entire Twilight series a month or two ago. I love
rereading books because it feels like visiting an old friend, or returning to a place from
childhood! I’ve perused a couple different philosophy books and most recently charged through
Roald Dahl’s Matilda. I am currently in the process of reading for the first time Jane Austen’s
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Pride and Prejudice, which is absolutely phenomenal. I believe I mentioned in an earlier entry
that I picked up ‘bullet journaling’ at the beginning of this quarantine, and have created several
new designs that I am very proud of! I have loved being able to embrace all the creative pastimes
that I don’t normally have time for during the school year, or when my week is full of work
shifts. Because of this, part of me is sad to know that with this potential new job, my creative
freedom and energy could come to an end. But I have no choice if I want to be able to pay for
my apartment next year, as well as food, tuition, etc.
Wednesday, June 17, 2020
I have always been someone who has used writing as an outlet for overwhelming
emotions or ideas. These last couple months I have felt so many things that I haven’t even felt
capable of writing them down. There is so much anger and hate in the world, as well as anguish
and sorrow. So many incomprehensible horrors, things we have always read about in history
books and never expected to encounter in real life. Even now as I sit here feeling on the edge of
tears, I can’t think where to begin...
I watched two videos recently of elderly men being violently pushed over by law
enforcement, who were, both times, dressed head to toe in defensive armor. The first video I saw
hit me so deep to the core that I felt physically nauseous and began to cry. In the video, a tall and
thin elderly white man who was protesting with the black lives matter movement walked slowly
up to a couple of police and began speaking to them and gesturing with his hands. He did not
look in any way threatening, out of control, or even angry. In fact to me it looked like he may
have been asking a question. Then, without warning, one of the officers shoved the old man
forcefully backwards. He stumbled back several paces, waving his arms as he frantically tried to
regain his footing, but his old legs couldn’t move fast enough and he tipped back. He crashed to
the cement, the back of his head cracking on the ground and a pool of blood visibly forming
around him. The officer who had stood next to the one who pushed the man began to lean down
to check on him, but was immediately pulled away by the one who pushed. They walked past
him and a group of more officers followed behind, all stepping over this elderly, bleeding man.
The video went viral, and most people were equally terrified and appalled. I just recently saw an
update on the man in my facebook news feed. His name is Martin Gugino, he is 75 years old, and
now has a fractured skull and is unable to walk.
This video circulated quickly and caused anguish in most who saw it. Most but not all,
because our own president unfeelingly suggested that Gugino could be an ANTIFA provocateur,
and faking the fall. This disgusting suggestion came after the knowledge that the police station
had reported the incident by claiming that Gugino tripped and fell and that they had nothing to
do with it. If it weren’t for the teenage girl who had been filming, none of us would know any
different because an entire troop of cops were prepared to sell a blatant lie to the public to cover
their own asses, at the devastating expense of their victim.
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The second video I saw was fortunately less devastating, but still scarring in its own way.
It showed another elderly white man, who was quite small and defenseless. He was simply
standing on a sidewalk looking out toward the street when a group of cops came up behind him
and started pushing him up the sidewalk. I truly don’t even know why or where they wanted him
to move to. I cannot even describe the feeling of intense anguish for the man and hatred toward
those awful cops that I felt when seeing this take place. The man jumped when he suddenly felt
hands on him and tried to turn to see what was happening, but was not able to because they just
kept pushing him further and further along. Like Gugino, this man quickly lost his balance and
fell to the ground, though thankfully it was face first and he was able to absorb the fall with his
arms instead of his head. These scenes awake some kind of animal instinct in me where I just
want to rip and tear and I can’t imagine the otherworldly chaos I would be feeling had either of
those men been my own grandfather or father.
Here’s a bit of comic relief, which I will credit to the stupidity of our esteemed president.
As I mentioned, he tried to claim that Martin Gugino (an innocent, previously unknown, peaceful
protestor for BLM) was an ANTIFA provocateur. So I’ve had to learn recently what exactly
ANTIFA is, because the way Trump talks about it makes it sound like an evil organization that
exists to dismantle our government and destroy our country. He literally put forward a proposal
to label ANTIFA as a terrorist organization. HOWEVER. IT’S NOT AN ORGANIZATION AT
ALL AND ANTIFA IS SHORT FOR ANTI-FASCIST. So beyond the fact that Trump is putting
forth blatant lies, he is also declaring himself against antifascism. Which, by extension, means
that he has declared himself for fascism. Ha. Ha. He’s not even trying to hide the fact that he
does every immoral thing in his power to be a dictator instead of a president with checks and
balances. Probably because he believes his followers will follow him anywhere, even if it’s off a
cliff. I hope that in the next few decades our democracy is restored and strengthened and history
books will look back at this time as a low point that we must never repeat.
Another point of grief on my mind today is that the Trump administration has apparently
rewritten the Title IX rules, which is now thousands of pages long. Under the Obama
administration, if someone came forward and accused another person of sexual assault, the
accused could be considered guilty not with clear, obvious evidence, but with at least a 50%
chance that it had happened. In other words, the old rules heavily favored the alleged victim in
sexaul assault cases on college campuses, and subjected the accused to punishments such as
being expelled from their university. At face value this may seem radical, but it was an
aggressive measure put in place to help correct what had been a huge problem on college
campuses for so long. Women have always been shamed for BEING RAPED. You don’t watch
an innocent person get punched in the face and blame them for it because their face looked
funny. You don’t hear that a woman was violated and blame her for dressing the wrong way. But
people do. Because misogyny is so ingrained in our collective psyche that people aren’t even
able to wrap their heads around the concept that a man who goes after a “provocatively dressed”
woman actually just doesn’t have self control or respect for that woman. And other men protect
rapists because they understand the feeling of being so tempted and wanting so badly to give in.
�23
But not all men are racists, because some were raised right; some have learned self control and
respect for others and some have integrity.
Anyway, as a young woman who lives on a college campus for most of the year, the sight
of a man walking toward me at night has the power to fill me with anxiety. I want to be able to
know that were anything to happen to me, I could get the emotional support I need, and the man
who assaulted me would face punishment. Trump’s new rules give universities the option to go
back to the system that was used before Obama made changes, where punitive measures will
only take place if there is evidence beyond a doubt that the accused committed the crime. In
other words, Trump has changed the system back to heavily favoring the rapist. In the interest of
creating an informed opinion, I must say that Obama’s rules resulted in a swing so far to the
other side that girls were falsely accusing men that they didn’t like, who then were treated
unfairly without further consideration into the matter. That occurrence is nearly as bad as a true
rapist never facing consequences. So I agree that perhaps there needed to be more measures set
up, but considering the history of this issue and the vulnerability of women, I personally feel that
the rules should favor the victim rather than the accused. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that
this new change came about under the Trump administration, as they have spent most of their
time in office undoing everything that Obama did to help us.
President Barack Obama began his presidency in 2008, when I was ten years old. I was
young enough for most of his presidency that I wasn’t informed of most anything that he did. But
my parents have told me that for them, having Obama in office was a welcome relief from the
struggles that they’ve always faced in life. My family is situated firmly in the middle class,
where we are generally very comfortable, but never waste money on frivolous things, and budget
and save and sacrifice here and there so that we can stay comfortable. Many of Obama’s
programs and laws went a long way toward making life easier for working-class families. As I
said, I’m not familiar with his entire presidency, but I know that his Title-IX regulations made a
big difference, as did Obamacare, and his treatment of immigrants. He did good things for the
working class, and did his best to make the obscenely wealthy citizens of America pay more
taxes for the good of all. (The wealth gap in this country is absurd, but that’s a qualm for another
day.) Donald Trump these past four years has worked his way through undoing change after
change after change made by Obama.
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
COVID-19 Journals
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Grand Valley State University. University Libraries
Description
An account of the resource
This collection of journals and personal narratives was solicited from the GVSU community by archivists of the University Libraries during the events of the 2020 COVID-19 global pandemic. During this unprecedented crisis the university closed suddenly, following federal and state guidelines of social distancing to reduce the spread of the novel coronavirus. The university closed its campuses on March 12, 2020, and quickly moved students out of campus housing. Faculty swiftly transitioned to fully-online teaching for the remainder of the Winter 2020 semester, and all campus events, including commencement, were cancelled.
The purpose of the COVID-19 Journaling Project was to document the individual and personal experiences of GVSU’s students, staff, faculty, and the wider community during this time of international crisis. Some project participants were university student employees who were compensated for their journaling. Other participants were granted stipends or extra credit for submitting entries to the archives. Still others participated without any compensation or credit. The University Archives remains grateful to all who submitted journals, for helping us to understand the impact of this crisis on our community.
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
2020
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
University Archives. COVID-19 Journaling Project
Subject
The topic of the resource
Epidemics
Grand Valley State University
College students
Personal narratives
COVID-19 pandemic, 2019-2020
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Grand Valley State University. University Libraries. Special Collections & University Archives
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Anonymous COVID-19 Journal
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Anonymous
Description
An account of the resource
Journal of an anonymous GVSU student's experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
2020-06-17
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
University Archives. COVID-19 Journaling Project
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
<a href="http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/InC/1.0/">In Copyright</a>
Subject
The topic of the resource
COVID-19 pandemic, 2019-2020
Epidemics
Grand Valley State University
College students
Personal narratives
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Grand Valley State University University Libraries. Special Collections and University Archives.
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
COVID-19_2020-06-17_ANON-033
Format
The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource
application/pdf
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
Text
Language
A language of the resource
eng
-
https://digitalcollections.library.gvsu.edu/files/original/6168197e480f552faa0f87d03bf749e7.pdf
3f7875a6787afcbf00963b46e12e920d
PDF Text
Text
The Effects of COVID-19
COVID-19 has had both positive and negative effects on my life, as well as the lives of
others. After GVSU made the transition to online courses on Wednesday March 11, I quickly
moved off campus the next day. This is because students living in on-campus housing facilities
were told to move out by the end of that week. However, at this time, the university was only
planning on having courses online for two weeks, so a few weeks later, I had to drive three hours
back to GVSU to move out the rest of my things. Luckily, my parents were able to help me with
this process, as they were also working from home. Moving off campus in the middle of the
semester and transitioning to online courses was definitely a whirlwind of an experience.
At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, I had to cope with new losses which was
difficult for me. Specifically, one of the most significant events was the cancellation of my study
abroad trip to Ghana this summer. I am currently a sophomore and I had been looking forward to
this trip since the beginning of freshman year. This year, I applied to the competitive study
abroad program, was accepted, and already began planning a number of things. Aside from the
trip, there were other events and activities on campus that I was looking forward to as well. So,
not only am I missing out on these experiences, but I am now completing 15 credit hours of
schoolwork online. I am an extremely focused and dedicated student. I spend a lot of time
studying and completing schoolwork in order to get good grades. With that being said, I like
face-to-face learning and being able to utilize opportunities such as office hours, tutoring
services, etc. While I am still finishing the semester strong, I will admit that it is has been
difficult to find motivation for online classes. However, all of my professors have been
supportive in the process, sending encouraging messages along the way. Currently, my biggest
fear is that we will continue to have online courses in the fall as well.
Aside from school, my daily life at home has been uneventful. I spend a majority of my
days studying and completing assignments for school. My mom and I have also been going on
walks, watching a new TV series, and working on puzzles. I must admit that my daily life is
getting boring. I am a member of the Pre-Physician Assistant Club on campus, so I have attended
a couple virtual meetings at home as well. The other clubs that I am involved in on campus have
not continued their meetings and events during this time. Furthermore, while I did not have a job
on campus, I am scheduled to work at a nearby nursing home in a couple of weeks to occupy my
�time. I worked there last summer as well and since I am no longer studying abroad, this is my
“plan B” for the summer. I am hoping to attend Physician Assistant (PA) school, so I am
required to have a large number of patient contact hours. However, I am becoming incredibly
nervous about going back to work because there have been many positive cases of COVID-19 at
the facility for both employees and residents. My family and I are currently healthy, and I would
like to keep it that way. Luckily, the facility is providing the necessary PPE including masks,
gloves, and goggles.
Lastly, I want to address my family’s experience in getting everyday items such as
groceries and household goods. My parents and I have had to be creative with our meals since
we no longer have the option of going to a restaurant. We go to the grocery store about once a
week in order to get food and other household products if they are in stock. There are many
shortages of these basic goods including toilet paper, paper towels, and cleaning supplies. My
family is almost out of disinfecting wipes, so our next project is to make our own wipes with
paper towels, water, rubbing alcohol, and dish soap! Also, there have been various food products
out of stock as well including pasta noodles, flour, butter, etc. Plus, we are limited to only one
type of meat at a time due to the high demand. Luckily, a friend of ours sewed masks for us, so
we can wear those to the grocery store. In the near future, I think that we will be required to wear
masks in public.
This has definitely been an unexpected experience that has required both major and
minor adjustments. Recently, I attended a virtual lecture about how to stay engaged in the
transition to online learning. The lecturer recommended that we use this experience as a time for
personal growth and development. With that being said, I am trying to think about the positive
aspects of quarantine, so after this semester is finished, I am going to start developing a plan for
my future. I plan to solidify the PA programs that I want to apply to and begin working on my
personal statement (since I have extra free time!). Overall, it is important and necessary that we
stay resilient and adaptable during this time of uncertainty!
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
COVID-19 Journals
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Grand Valley State University. University Libraries
Description
An account of the resource
This collection of journals and personal narratives was solicited from the GVSU community by archivists of the University Libraries during the events of the 2020 COVID-19 global pandemic. During this unprecedented crisis the university closed suddenly, following federal and state guidelines of social distancing to reduce the spread of the novel coronavirus. The university closed its campuses on March 12, 2020, and quickly moved students out of campus housing. Faculty swiftly transitioned to fully-online teaching for the remainder of the Winter 2020 semester, and all campus events, including commencement, were cancelled.
The purpose of the COVID-19 Journaling Project was to document the individual and personal experiences of GVSU’s students, staff, faculty, and the wider community during this time of international crisis. Some project participants were university student employees who were compensated for their journaling. Other participants were granted stipends or extra credit for submitting entries to the archives. Still others participated without any compensation or credit. The University Archives remains grateful to all who submitted journals, for helping us to understand the impact of this crisis on our community.
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
2020
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
University Archives. COVID-19 Journaling Project
Subject
The topic of the resource
Epidemics
Grand Valley State University
College students
Personal narratives
COVID-19 pandemic, 2019-2020
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Grand Valley State University. University Libraries. Special Collections & University Archives
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
COVID-19 Experiences
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Anonymous
Description
An account of the resource
Journal of an anonymous GVSU student's experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
2020-04-21
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
University Archives. COVID-19 Journaling Project
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
<a href="http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/InC/1.0/">In Copyright</a>
Subject
The topic of the resource
Epidemics
Grand Valley State University
College students
Personal narratives
COVID-19 pandemic, 2019-2020
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Grand Valley State University University Libraries. Special Collections and University Archives.
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
COVID-19_2020-04-21_Anon_003
Format
The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource
application/pdf
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
Text
Language
A language of the resource
eng
-
https://digitalcollections.library.gvsu.edu/files/original/8def8fed4e9af74b8373b32de46c8138.pdf
8b9780eafe48615581ea38e7c885b727
PDF Text
Text
Isabel Dowell
Did you move off campus suddenly due to COVID-19? What was that experience like, what kind of
help did you have? Do you still have personal belongings on campus?
I am lucky that I live in an off-campus apartment. I am able to stay in my current apartment with all
my belongings and was not asked to leave to my permanent residence.
How are your online classes going? What kinds of messages have you received from professors?
How are other students handling the changes? How are you handling it?
Online classes are going ok. I feel as though I am not learning in the same way that I once was. Even
the information I am learning seems more temporary this way, like its only purpose is to learn it, be
tested on it, and move on. I have never had issues with online courses before and have learned a lot from
previous ones, but it’s very obvious that some classes are better online while others should only meet in
person. I think this is a common opinion and have heard it from other peers. The circumstances in the
world around us also play a big distraction to my everyday life at the moment.
I have received some encouraging messages from professors, some seem to understand that this time
is very stressful for anyone and have been more than accommodating. Other professors are still trying to
“push us” to be our best selves, which I personally believe is not the best strategy at this time. Like I have
mentioned, there is a lot going on and some individuals don’t have access to the same resources that they
once used to. To just assume we are all doing okay and should continue to work as hard as possible isn’t
very courteous.
Overall, I am handling online classes as well I possibly can. At this point I am more excited for this
semester to end than ever before. I feel like I need a reset on life and be able to worry about the current
state of the world and the health of my friends and family, versus my exams.
Are you involved in student organizations, sports or clubs? How has COVID-19 and campus
response affected those?
I am not currently involved in any student organizations, sports, or clubs.
What is happening in your daily life at home? How are your parents/friends/partners/etc. doing?
Do/did you have a job on or off campus? What kind of work did you do, and how has that been
affected by COVID-19, lock-downs, and quarantine?
My daily life at home is pretty boring. I usually spend my day by waking up, doing homework, taking
my dog for a walk, eating three meals a day, catching up on movies and TV shows, and repeat day in and
day out. My family back home is doing fine, they are all healthy and have a similar routine to mine.
I had a job on campus. I worked at the Facilities Services building as a customer service
representative. As of March 16, I was let go from that job until it was safe to go back. They offered me a
cleaning position – wiping down tables, door handles, etc. – but as of March 24, when the quarantine
started, I was let go from that as well. I was given an assistance grant from the university which has
helped a lot and reduced a great amount of stress.
Are you or anyone you know sick? What symptoms, response from medical personnel? Getting
COVID testing?
I do not know anyone that is sick.
Do you work in healthcare? What are your experiences? Have you had problems getting access to
PPE? How are your working conditions?
I do not work in health care.
�How has your experience getting everyday items like groceries and household goods (cleaning
supplies, paper goods, etc.) been? Have there been shortages?
I haven’t had many issues finding everyday items. I did experience the toilet paper shortage but was
lucky enough to grab one of the last packs. It’s a little scary and can be worry some, especially as I am
the only one providing for myself. If a store doesn’t have toilet paper I either have to wander around
various stores until I find something or hope my roommates have enough to share until I can get my own.
In a way it’s almost forced me to panic buy, if I don’t buy it now in a large amount it might not be there
when I run out.
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
COVID-19 Journals
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Grand Valley State University. University Libraries
Description
An account of the resource
This collection of journals and personal narratives was solicited from the GVSU community by archivists of the University Libraries during the events of the 2020 COVID-19 global pandemic. During this unprecedented crisis the university closed suddenly, following federal and state guidelines of social distancing to reduce the spread of the novel coronavirus. The university closed its campuses on March 12, 2020, and quickly moved students out of campus housing. Faculty swiftly transitioned to fully-online teaching for the remainder of the Winter 2020 semester, and all campus events, including commencement, were cancelled.
The purpose of the COVID-19 Journaling Project was to document the individual and personal experiences of GVSU’s students, staff, faculty, and the wider community during this time of international crisis. Some project participants were university student employees who were compensated for their journaling. Other participants were granted stipends or extra credit for submitting entries to the archives. Still others participated without any compensation or credit. The University Archives remains grateful to all who submitted journals, for helping us to understand the impact of this crisis on our community.
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
2020
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
University Archives. COVID-19 Journaling Project
Subject
The topic of the resource
Epidemics
Grand Valley State University
College students
Personal narratives
COVID-19 pandemic, 2019-2020
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Grand Valley State University. University Libraries. Special Collections & University Archives
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
COVID-19 Responses
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Dowell, Isabel
Description
An account of the resource
Journal of GVSU student Isabel Dowell's experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
2020-04-20
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
University Archives. COVID-19 Journaling Project
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
<a href="http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/InC/1.0/">In Copyright</a>
Subject
The topic of the resource
Epidemics
COVID-19 pandemic, 2019-2020
Grand Valley State University
College students
Personal narratives
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Grand Valley State University University Libraries. Special Collections and University Archives.
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
COVID-19_2020-04-20_DowellIsabel
Format
The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource
application/pdf
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
Text
Language
A language of the resource
eng